Tuesday 13 November 2012

Mimic

I realized some while back that I was completely incapable of hating people. Regardless.
Today, I realized the sad sad corollary...I can't love people.

Lukewarm, Lukewarm. I am too complacent.

Like a fanny fart. neither here nor there.

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Because I realized today that Ms. Sunshine is not the love of my life because:


Because there's so much water under the bridge that the bridge is floating on it...and at risk of going under
  Because i think i love him today but i may change my mind tomorrow
00:29 Because life is too complicated n my few friends are too precious to throw at the whim of love n its intricacies
  Because im super scared that he will b hung up on her n i cant have him preoccupied about someone else
00:30 Because he will always belong to a million people n never just to me
00:31 Because i dont do sharing well n im afraid to venture into the area of hpw much i may love him...or how little
00:32 Million n one reasons but the top most being that at this stage weve both fucked around n mucked up so much that 'simply us' wont be simple or us for him or for.me...
  There are too many ppl involved n i love all of them

19 minutes
00:52 N i like that i have such precious people in my life...people ive held.on to for so long that the thought of not having them is unfathomable n horrible as far as fathomable
00:53 N i like his woman
  Like...ive come to genuinely like her...n as an outsider i like their relationdhip n wouldn want to do them any harm
  Im stepping back :) n thats that


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and then i felt...so grownup. 

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