Saturday, 30 October 2010


I was trying to fill out the Amarchand Mangaldas Questionnaire for internship, and the questions they have asked are deeply personal. I am at an absolute loss for things to write :(

the question right now:
Describe any non-academic situation where you have had to defend your point of view. what was the outcome?

Now the only replies I can think are all falling beyond the far side of 'strange'.
Here are a few:

"Recently, my sister introduced my parents to her boyfriend of long and told them of her wishes to marry him. My parents, being slightly conservative, refused to acknowledge her relationship and said that they would find her a groom as per their requirements. They reached an impasse where they decided not to speak to each other. I supported my sister’s view because she had known the boy for very long and they were very well compatible. I convinced my mother, and after endless arguments she finally agreed to ‘consider’ the boy for marriage."

"One of my friends decided that they wanted to try 'everything' in life. Being of a slightly 'violent' bent of mind, he decided to start with killing of little animals. I spent days and evenings arguing with him about all the things PETA stands for. Also, we had a lengthy discourse on whether or not the capital punishment (as state commissioned murder) should be abolished or allowed. Ultimately, i convinced him and he did not kill any animals."

"Being in a Law college makes people very judgmental and critical of other people. every little flaw is magnified and strunized. one of my friends was so judged and condemned socially. I realised then how hard it was to live and compete with the same set of persons, because that naturally causes tension. I complained to the Vice Chancellor and managed to change the rule regarding hostels and sought that the students be allowed to live off campus. The outcome? The rules in my college are so very different now." yea, right.

well, this is pointless.

Horrible, Hopeless College; law degree and everything related to everything here.

Saturday, 11 September 2010

Out f my HEAD. NOW.

“what should I do? What do you think? What do you say?” Make your own fucking decisions. Stop taking ‘advice’ as the end all…your call, independent decision making, etc etc

Im so tired of being blamed for your decisions because you’re too much of a cunt to think things through and make your own FUCKING decisions.

Im tired of feeling miserable because you’re such a stupid miserable fool. I hate you so much right now, acting like a baby and insulting me like a bitch. Believing that the addendum ‘no offence’ justifies anything and everything you say as you insult, rape, destroy me.

Im sick of your hang dog face. I wish I could kick it.

Im sick of being a friend to you, despite the fact that you did this to me, and did not tell me and let me find out from other people. I cannot hold this gun to my head, wishing someone would kill me now. I am truly, completely, perfectly, absolutely, without questions or qualifications, DONE with your bullshit.

His life is under the gun, he's got to hold every day.

Kill me now, kill me now, kill me now, kill me now.

Friday, 3 September 2010

Because there is a Sun

I jus watched Wake Up Sid, finally. And i found it funny beyond belief!! The co-relation to real life is stupefyingly fascinating. I know that couple. I know them. HAH.

The boy who whines and weeps, and in a shrill, girly voice shouts at the girl for repeatedly calling him a kid. Jus like a kid. T & L have been that way, they are that way. However, i doubt T & L would last, or end up together. I hope they dont. I dont want them to. I dont care if they do, but i wish they i can have my best friend back. so I can stop trolling for 'replacement best friends'. Selfish, superbly. But then no man has been otherwise, and I cannot claim to be even if someone has been. I want my best friend back.

However, If they do end up together, i will be just fine. I am brave enough to confess that I may be lying to myself, but i really think i can survive, be jus fine, live on and dream on. Let it be.

There is a sun, and my day will shine. I will wait for them to break up, or mutually move away, and then slip back in...into both their lives :) Selfish, superbly.

Monday, 29 March 2010

If Only

If only a star would shine tonight,
If only one would fall.
If only a tiny sliver of light,
A wish to undo it all.

If only we could go back
If only we could rewind.
"If only"s just seem to stack,
against the corners of my mind.

If only I could find some peace,
If only relief from doubt.
If only a false sense of ease
An escape, another way out.

Thursday, 18 March 2010

On 'that old feeling' ;)

Well, it's agreed that while writing a poem you must necessarily write about something close to your heart. So here is a scribble, on a subject dear to me, and to many others. It is not mine alone, but a combined composition (artistic composition) along with RPR.

So, you wake up,
& feel shitty.
So not cool
So NOT witty.

You don't feel sad,
You don't feel happy.
All you really feel
is plain ol' crappy.

You make a face,
you let out a sigh.
As you lie there
you wanna DIE.

You get up
& you get out.
It's knocking, knocking,
Theres no doubt.

Sometimes you walk leisurely,
sometimes run to open the door!
At times, its interesting to sit,
many a times-its just a bore.

You better not stop it,
you have no time.
not for song,
not for rhyme.

It may stink...
in the loo :)
Start liking it
it's important poo.

Now it's out,
out in the open.
you're already wondering

Now clean up,
behind your ass
no one likes
to see what you pass.

Come on, clean up
clean up your slime.
No, dont even bother,
you won't get a dime.

SO turnaround
and say farewell.
don't disect the components
you're no longer under the spell

You're relieved its out
you hap'ly said g'bye
you're thinking of next time
YOU ARE! Don't lie!! :P

it's out, you sigh
the memory you treasure
waving it goodbye
boy!what a pleasure.

What is THIS?
Is it a Thesis???
it's jus a song...

well, its been stretched out a bit. but then, when you're writing about something you love talking about, excessive detailing is unavoidable :)

Friday, 12 February 2010

Dream Log

Its been over a year since I last published a blog, it just lies there in my drafts, forgotten.
Well, been having a couple of strange nights, coupled with the anxiety of this stupid college, the cold shouldering/vibes from friends thats beginning to freeze me inside out and the reminders of peoples' deaths swirling through my sub conscious and making it impossible to dream a li'l dream. :(
Dream 1.
A man, sad and lonely, walking along the beach. The beach reminds him of someone, of something he's lost. I dont know what, but i can feel his sorrow, he's grieving. He's sad. The feeling is so strong like only a dream can make it, so real you can breathe it and so scary that you'd die...
As he's walking along, he comes to this shady place where there's a crab-monster. He cuts off the crab monster's head and puts it on as a mask, to cover his sorrow and goes home. Ther's a birthday party for a child going on at home. The child's happy, until the man enters with the Crab-Monster head mask. It's a funny mask, it's supposed to make her laugh. She's supposed to think it's funny. She starts crying, she can feel what I felt. The man's sorrow, cutting through the crab monster head...making her cry in her heart, she feels his sorrow. She cries tears of blood. And it is so vivid, I can see the tears flow down her eyes, down her cheek, on to th lapel of her shirt. Stained Red.
He pulls off the head of the crab monster, he's crying too. Tears of Blood. down his cheeks, down his shirt.
A woman walks in, starts shouting at the Man. Everyone's watchng the drama. She's screaming at him, telling him that he has no right to ruin the child's life and that "she" had died over 2 years ago and sorrowing does not help him or her or anyone anymore and that he had better jus walk out of their life.
I dont know anyone in this dream. But I felt all of it, and I couldn't smile the following day and I couldn't sleep the following night.

Then there were other dreams too, making it so that I am scared to sleep right now, for fear of dreaming about more death, more blood, more sorrow, more fears.