Friday, 23 October 2015

Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn!

I first heard news of his engagement about 3 months ago. Not from him, though. From her. I don't know which felt like a greater betrayal-of love or of the last vestiges of friendship we had yet preserved.

Since then, I have been sitting down, bearing down, on a feeling of anger trying to ensure that no part of me betrays that truth; while I am fully aware that he will derive no true pleasure or satisfaction-I feel like allowing him that feeling of being "prized" is more than he deserves. Maybe I am being silly.

I guess I would, if I could, seek comfort in a friend regarding this but I am unsure if that is possible --a reflection of my friendships as equally as of my understanding of this completely hopeless situation.

For the record:

I do not wish to attend any associated ceremonies or celebrations.

I do not wish to congratulate either of them.

I do not wish to pretend to share with them a smidge of joy regarding this.

Hell, I do not even wish to ever use this word-joy-in any meaningful context.

So, that leads me to wonder... How does one reach the "frankly, my dear..." state of affairs? Ultimately, it appears, life is a series of events, staring you down, holding a placard that reads: "suck it up, bitch".