Litany of Lady G

I believe:

# One of the most important moments in a relationship is the first fart. It speaks of comfort and trust.

# Children do not speak the truth by virtue of their innocence, but by virtue of their complete and utter heartlessness.

#It is easier to be honest when a) you don't care about the listener or b) the listener is a stranger.

# It would be easier to love a child if they have an illness, because it makes them seem braver in the face of an inherent weakness. I only love children who look downsy. This might be the sympathy factor, or because I'm really shallow and oddly judgmental, only of children.

# The best lesson the Bible has to offer is that you WILL be judged by the same standards that you use to judge others. And a keen acceptance of this one concept will make you a better person for it.

# I believe if a cat adopts you, you must be a nice person. If a dog adopts you, it must be lovelorn. And if a dog jumps to protect you or is protective of you (o, Bruno!) then it's only fair that you play with him and pamper him and get down on your hands and knees.

# I believe the scariest feeling is knowing fully well how screwed your life is, specially when you know what you're doing is going to lead to such a feeling shortly.

# I believe that family time is adorable by virtue of both, rarity and the ease with which you can get away with things around these folks--such as yawning when they're talking, scratching your head/underarm/hairy legs, admitting to not really care about politics AT ALL--without fear of intellectual, emotional or physical abandonment.

# I believe the best friends you'll ever have are ones you make when you're children, because then you build your barriers to keep them in and the rest of the world out.

# I believe that I am not the only asshole on earth. I personally know at least 2 (yes, you.).

# I believe that the longer you let others plan 'fun' for you, the less you'll have of it.

# I believe it is imperative to be nasty sometimes, and it's ok.

# I believe that there are choices where even your best mates don't come through for you and it's ok.

# I believe that everyone was once a Mediker child. And this is what one must focus upon when presenting before a crowd that makes you uncomfortable.

# I believe that Ric Stultz may be the best art of our times. Beautiful & thought provoking.