Thursday 19 January 2012

Adah

“It is true I do not speak as well as I can think. But that is true of most people, as nearly as I can tell.”- Adah, The Poisonwood Bible.

I wish we were like the avatar animals & beings—if we could communicate in pictures…we might communicate better. It is just so hard to explain to someone the wonders that we truly feel, the hurt that’s battering us, the uncertainty over certain decisions that must be made… Some things exist that can only be thought, never truly communicated.

This book is so full of quotes I wish I could just…beam through in thoughts to you. I wish you could understand the way I see things, if not see them the way I do. I wish you could look into my soul and know me…all my fears and hang-ups without my having to lay them down for you one by one…it is so time consuming and heart breaking!
Like…the wonder in the eyes of children when you make a face at them in the traffic-that lil second where eyes meet, your face contorts and theirs is drowned in wonderment.
Like…how there are little things that can make or break a relationship though it would feel so petty to talk about them….the way you talk to me sometimes (the annoyance right here that I cannot communicate in one line), that odd lil cliff hanger you got going. :D its funny now.
Like…...like, your hearts hurting and you really don’t know why you’re there! that feeling of wanting to die rather than fess up to some evil that you have done. I mean, if I could communicate just that one feeling-I’d be made for life. :) anyone would forgive when encountering such heartfelt repentance…won’t they?
O and yea, that feeling when you know something you were counting on has gone…quite literally, that sinking feeling. Like an animal died inside of you and needs to be “appropriately” discarded.

My favourite is Adah, so far. Ofcourse Ruth is lovely too.
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I wonder if primates can do “wonder” expressions? I mean, that expression which is neither surprise nor shock…nor simply a feeling of having been found, or stunned. Just that pure moment where you come upon a sunrise and your eyes widen and you think….aaaah! :) that lil smile and that happiness that beams across your being. Wonder-My Favourite Human Expression.

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